The 2009 Wrap-Up!

Well, friends, it has been a whole year since this sweet little field of blogs began...and yes...it is again time for a yearly summary of things that happened, lessons I learned and truths that unfolded in front of me time after time, day after day.

Sooo...I think I will just start with a list.

:: List of major events that happened in 2009 in the life of Leslie Gray ::
January: I began working with Address to Impress, an invitation company based out of Tupelo, MS.
February: I suffered through the readjustment period that was "Moving back in with my Parents" and I survived.
March: I established an office space and studio on Bankhead in New Albany...later to be known as Gray & Company
April: I starred in the play "M*A*S*H" and I learned how to pay rent.
May: I found love and didn't even know it.
June: I learned how to drive my orange volkswagen and I stopped traffic all over New Albany.
July: I returned to the stage, performing in Broadway 5 and I found out that the path I chose it quaint but absolutely charming.
August: I watched a meteor shower, snuggled into my studio for the fall, and found out that Mr. Bloody Bones is smarter than I thought.
September: I gave my best friend away to a guy who is now her best friend. And I confidently walked away from an influence in my life that never really cared about me, but rather saw me as a mere business transaction and a piece of the puzzle. Oh, yeah....and I started what is now the Gray & Company tshirt line! (September was a really big month!)
October: I turned 24. I grew older. I also played the role of June Sanders in "Smoke on the Mountain"...my first role with any significance.
November: I grew a thick skin and got my hands dirty...working hard and making things happen. I also decorated my shop for Christmas for the first time ever...a truly joyful time.
December: I enjoyed the holidays, despite their busy-ness for the first time in years and I found out that people show up in your life when you least expect them and probably need them most.

The past year has offered me more of an education than I ever received in an institution of higher learning. I have had hard lessons in business and life. I have had my heart broken and I found that there is nothing that can heal it better than your best friends sunbathing in a pool with a cold drink on a hot summer day. I rearranged my thoughts on how my fairy tale wedding will unfold one day and I got a good start on learning how to tell people "no." Through all of the lessons I have learned this year, the one that remains most evident is that God is gracious and giving and good. Though there is nothing in my life that reflects an entitlement to what I have, God provides anyway....he gives daily and without reservation- His grace for the times when I create a royal disaster of my life and His love when I feel abandoned by those I put false trust in. My Father provides and my life is a testament to that.

Pink Pearls of Wisdom for 2009:
1. Never climb so far up the ladder that it hurts when you fall back down. -Bill Gray
2. Rejection is like getting a shot...it hurts at first but it makes you a better person.
3. Fear of love is fear of life.
4. There is nothing wrong with loving polka dots and animal print in abundance and with wreckless abandon.
5. If you let them, curious people will waste your life away.
6. There is a difference between business and rudeness.
7. The battle of overcoming who you used to be and proving who you are is actually a war in a small town.
8. Love is a many splendor thing, Y'all.

Hit me with your best shot, 2010!

Thanksgiving is over and the Holiday Season is upon us. I had a few very important revelations over the Turkey day festivities. I think I will keep them short and sweet though. And instead of preaching to you, I am going to write them in such a way that they will be notes of encouragement.

1. Folks, take care of your families. Take care of you grandparents, and your parents, and your kids. That should be a priority. Not an "at your convenience" option.

2. The Church is a venue through which we can have Christian fellowship and worship. Do not allow yourself to become so caught up in the social and political traps of the church that you forget the purpose of it. Christianity is demonstrated through Love. Inside or outside the church. I am not discouraging church. I am encouraging independent thinking about your life as a Christian. Study the life of Jesus Christ and model your life after that, not necessarily after what your Sunday school teacher tells you to do or what the Southern Baptist doctrine tells you to believe. It is very easy to be innocently misled by someone who has the very best of intentions.

I'm quite excited about the Christmas season. I hope all of you are as well. I'm setting a goal to be completely finished with all of my lingering projects by the end of 2009 so that I can start off 2010 with a clean slate and a determined spirit.

Get excited because we are only one month away from the Pink Pearls of Wisdom 2009 Reflection entry. That is usually a good one!

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Sometimes being completely lost is right where you are supposed to be.

Well...

So it has been a while, right? Well, since my last entry, I have had much going on in my life to speak of. I have faced some real struggles in both business and life and some struggles that crossed that dividing line into both areas. And with that, I am learning. I think that is the best way to put it, really. I am learning that people, imperfect as we are, can be disappointing. I am learning to never believe in someone too much...to never set their bar so high that it hurts when they allow it to drop and hit me in the face.

I'm finding that people will use me to get what they want. You are always someone's best friend when you have what they want. It is when you try to protect yourself or when something better comes along that you find out where the genuine souls lie. In realizing this about so many of the people in my life, i have realized a whole lot about me. I located some areas in my life that are weak...areas that I had been excusing as mere kindness...well, not so much. That kindness was also an excuse for me to avoid developing a back bone that would help support me. That kindness is what would have been my demise. I was going to "kindness" myself to death.

I realize that is a heavy load to drop in a blog but I said it all with a very peaceful heart. I am excited about life right now and all of the exciting things that are up for grabs. I am not worried about the struggles. They are good for me. I cry more than I think is humanly normal these days but it makes me feel better. I'm not sad. I just get stressed and it seems that sometimes, crying really does make it better. So I allow myself to do that these days. And through those little stressful tears, I smile because i love what I do and what I am working so hard to become.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Every struggle survived is a battle won.

well, y'all....

Well...yeah.

And this is why:
1. I'm an artist with no direction, really...but lots of ambition.
2. I still live with my parents.
3. I'm single...and can't really decide if I like or dislike that.

So there it is. Plain and simple. There are bad sides to all of the above but Satan isn't gonna inch in and get me down about any of those things. Because I know I am loved for those things or despite them...

Well, guess what, Mr. Satan...I'm gonna have another dance party at Gray & Company in celebration of succeeding enough to pay yet another month's rent! Amen.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Pictures don't have to go in frames. Nor do ideas have to fit inside boxes. Likewise, people do not have to squish into a mold. Throw away their rules and make your own.

Monday Posting...

Gray & Co. is alive and well today! If any of you are like me, This is the best time of year for a great cup of coffee!! Above is the latest G&C tshirt design! YAY, COFFEE!

Anyway, Today, I'm feelin pretty awesome. Got much much much to do this week but I'm totally feeling up to it! Life is good and I have no direct complaints. The sun is shining and I have a smile on my face. Still listening to all my christmas music...gotta get prepared for our program in Decmeber at the church.

I was wondering about contentment the other day....ya know...whether it is a good or bad thing to be such. Well, I'll tell ya...I am there in a way. As much as I complain, I really love where I'm at in life right now. I do. I love what I do. I love my friends. I have much to occupy my time. I'm never bored. These are all blessings.

Come see me sometime!

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
If something is hindering your clear view, turn on your windshield wipers.

Observation: There have been many weddings this year. Thus, there have been many honeymoon pictures posted on facebook. I'm willing to say that 99% of these pictures have involved a tropical beach resort-ish background location.

Conclusion: There is nothing within me that wants to go to some random island for my honeymoon. I like the beach on occasion. But again, NOTHING in me that wants a beach for honeymooning. When Mr. Unidentified and myself dash out on our post-marriage getaway, I'd prefer New York, London, or something that is more interesting to me than sand in my swimsuit. That is just not something I want to battle. I'd rather picnic in a park and catch a good show at night than go on some random excursions with native tour guides and murky water.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Know who you are. Make decisions based on that.

There are days when I feel like making lists. Today is one of those.

1. In my previous encounters with music created by Uncle Kracker, I have never been impressed. In fact, I have been terribly nauseated by his musical contribution. Until today. I'm gonna go ahead and say that I bought...yes...spent money on...two of his new songs. Please don't delete me from your blog list because of that decision.

2. The fall is in full swing. It is cold outside and every day, i'm enjoying a great cup of High Point coffee. Legit.

3. It is play time again. I'd like to invite all of you out to come see "Smoke on the Mountain" this thursday, friday, and sunday! Hilarious family entertainment. If you want tickets, let me know. I'll arrange for you to pick them up at will call. If you need incentive, I'm wearing a plaid jumper as part of my costume and playing the spoons. Amen.

4. Christmas is right around the corner and I'm already making arrangements for this! I'm going to Franklin, TN to see one of my best friends and go to "A Dicken's Christmas" downtown...pumped. AND we are working on Christmas music for our church program...some WON-DEE-FUL tunes for this year. If you want to hear some good music, come to Ingomar Baptist Church. More on that later.

5. God is good, ya'll. I don't have to tell you this for it to be true but I think that His goodness should be recognized any chance we get. To be honest, there are some areas of my life where I get frustrated because I feel like God isn't holding up his end of the bargain. But that is exactly how my little pathetic mind works sometimes. Clearly, I'm WAY off in my train of thought. Because He always comes back and pops me in the back of the head with a big ole' blessing to make me feel like a total jerk. Kinda like last weekend. I was getting frustrated because I had to attend a wedding function on my birthday...and I may have been a little bitter...but then one of my best friends threw me a little surprise party and some of the most fabulous people ever attended. Wow. That totally made my weekend. AND then the next night at the wedding, I got to dance. And as we all know...I love a dance floor and have no plans of letting one escape without me getting a little use out of it. :) So, love your friends and Praise Jesus always.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Investing in People brings great returns.

Refreshed!

Something about the sunshine completely changes me. It encourages me so much.

Today is monday and usually I would be whining about how much Monday blows. But not this monday. It was a great start. Rode to work in my precious VW Punkin. Loafed around for some of the morning. Justified that because of my incredible work day saturday. And this afternoon, I have focused on projects that are all my own. I don't get to do that often but I did it today. Tomorrow, I will work harder. Today, I breezed through.

Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. There is something about crisp cool air and changing tree leaves that just absolutely warms my heart. This time of year makes me love more. People. My dogs. My town. Good Music. I love all of those things more I think during the fall of the year. Am I being seasonally discriminatory? Perhaps. But I can do that. :) On the same note though, I often wish that I was IN love during the fall. Is that weird or what? Not like "I wish I had a bf because I don't wanna be alone" kinda thing...nah...that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not, nor will I ever be that person. I just think that this is a great time of year to share with someone special. I can't think of anything more romantic than grabbing a pumpkin spice latte and walking in a park with pretty trees. Hmmmm...how lovely. One fall, that will happen. Just maybe not this fall. Or maybe...

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Sometimes, imperfection is so perfect.

*I know today's pearl is a bit of a contradiction but think about it....

Sorry...

Had a moment of self-doubt in last entry...got a little emo...please disregard if i sounded a little crazy.

I'm gonna blame this one on horomones...haha!

lg

A reminder that i have no clue what I'm doing here...

Where is this pretty place? I want to go there. I need to go there. You know, that place where you don't know anyone but when you go into the pastry shop for a cup of warm coffee and a brioche on a cool fall night, the barista listens when you talk and then leaves you perfectly alone when you don't.

I'm really scared of this whole business thing that I do.

Scared to death.

Not because I am incapable. But because I am afraid that it will turn me into a monster that works all the time and never gets to enjoy life. A monster that doesn't have time for family or church..and never is relieved from stress...

I don't want to take this pressure I constantly feel out on my family. Nor do I want to miss out on family and friends because I don't feel like talking after work. I also don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life.

Did i make the wrong choice in staying around here? I just don't know anymore. I second guess myself and what I do every single day. For some reason, I just didn't think it would ever be this hard to know what was best for me. I'm a blessed little girl but I'm lost.

I'm scared and I want to run away to a place where everything will be okay.
...But I don't know where that is.

Today's Pearl of Widsom:
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Lessons I am learning...

You always wanted a post. This one is just especially for you. Beyonce says it best. Add this song to that Rhianna one that you are so fond of. :)

Things I have come to realize lately:
1. People don't change in 99 out of 100 cases. Genuine change is a special and rare event.
2. People who settle are weak. I've always been a pretty tough girl. Not giving in now. I'm starting to figure out that I deserve better than what I often give myself credit for...in lots of ways. My talents...my friendship...my heart...I think they are all worth a little something. The people who realize that value are the ones I keep close to me. Love Ya'll.
3. My wedding will be intimate and small. Lindy's was perfect. But I realized that all my life, I have been dreaming of something that was totally wrong for me.
4.Even though fresh flowers die, there is simply no replacement for their temporary beauty.
5. My life is good. I am gonna be okay. I'm gonna make it. I. am. going. to. make. it.
6. Ingrid Michaelson sings music that is absolutely delicious. Listen to her and love her. Piano and all.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
If there is a dance floor available, take advantage of it. Don't let anyone hold you back.

Alas, Wedding time is upon us! My big sis and her boyfriend of almost 4 years are finally getting married in 3 days and I must say I couldn't be happier.

For a few reasons...
1. I'm happy for the two of them...
2. I'm exhausted with the wedding preparation
3. I get to wear a pretty dress.

So if you will, please be in prayer for the Gray family as we prepare for this most special occasion. We will try not to kill each other.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Take the money and run.

The next two weeks...

In the next two weeks, I am positive that there will be what some might think is the beginning of world war 3...around my house. Why? The Wedding. Its here. Sigh. It is upon us. And we...are...stressed.

However, after this wedding, I think I will do something positive to counteract the negative energy stemming from the "I Do Blues". I think that I will spread some cheer. You know...like stick random pieces of paper up around town that say "You are beautiful" on them or "Never give up." or even something like in the picture above. I might even buy some spray paint and deface some public property with happiness....probably not...but ya never know. I just feel the need to be an encourager right now. And not necessarily to people I know...i try to encourage them all the time. But instead to people who's lives I may never know anything of. For people who I will never be useful to ...people who will never call me and want things from me. Just people. Because I love people. I think I love people because Jesus loves people. And since we are made in His image, it would only make since, right? Sitting in my studio limits the amount of people time that I get though, so I think God is providing me with a creative challenge on how to love people and reach people without actually working with them every single day. What a great challenge. Guess the brainstorming sessions have begun!

Have a great weekend, ya'll!

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
When you ask someone to move mountains, make yourself available to assist in the process.

Down to the Brass Tacks...

*disclaimer...there will be no capital letters involved in today's blog. my left shift key is broken and i don't like using the right shift key. so in my blog, i choose to use no capitals for the day. for all of you grammatical nazis, come and get me.

today, i am on a war path, and i feel certain that i will stay on it for a while to come.

here's the deal. i do not know exactly what i am yet. however, i do know that i am not a retailer. i also know that i am not free labor. i know that i am a young college graduate trying to make a living. i know that i live with my parents and i don't want to do that forever. therefore, i want to make it known publicly that i am now charging for my services. i am not cheap or free. if you want my talents and my time, i will be paid for it. i do not care if you are a non-profit organization. i do not care if you are my daddy's best friend. i require payment. i will consider bartering if the offer is good enough. but payment nonetheless.

i have done this to myself. i have no idea how much i am worth and i have no idea how to say no to people or to believe in myself and my work enough to charge what i deserve. but last night and this morning...there have been a few 'come to Jesus' meetings and quite frankly, i'm finished allowing people to take advantage of me. i am taking a lesson from the best business man i know. from now on, i will be brutal. i am growing a tough skin. i may hurt some feelings but i'm indifferent about that at this point. it is unfair to myself to continue on the path that i have been on. i'm exhausted and worn with nothing to show for it.

today's pearl of wisdom;
if you let them run over you and run you down, they will.

Life is good.

WORDS TO LIVE BY!! I just personally wish that more people understood and completely accepted that. SO many people around me say that and then they try to be far too involved in the workings of the universe. Quite frankly, I just roll along being who I am, allowing the Good Lord to act as He shall. (Don't confuse this idea with a lack of motivation.) When opportunities arise, I grab them. When they don't, I appreciate said down time. I do not force myself into situations where there is no room or desire for me to be there. However, I also do not pass up good things if they come along due to fear or uncertainty. A little of both of those things are what keep life exciting right?

I watched the meteor shower the other night. There was something fearful and uncertain about that...Maybe it was the fact that I never knew when I was gonna see one or the realization that we are just teeny tiny specs of existence in this infinite universe. Or maybe it was the fact that I never knew when my dog was about to bust up in our party...But that fear and uncertainty didn't stop me from enjoying every morsel of goodness that night had to offer. It was meant to happen. Yeah.

Pink Pearl of Wisdom:
McDonald's WILL get your order wrong. Its true.

*that may not seem like wisdom but I promise it is something that I have learned over the course of quite a bit of time. Take it for what it is worth.

Here, for you, is a delicious little snack...The meal is yet to come. This week (and last) I have been putting the finishing touches on a children's book I have been working on for WAY too long. It is time to get it out of my hands and I am so ready to see it come to completion! I'd like to encourage all of you to consider purchasing one to help the cause :D I will not beg, but it is really a treat...one that you will want to have for your kids...and grandkids...and puppies...maybe.

Enough about the book.

Busy season is upon me. I am overwhelmed with wonderful thing to do. Therefore, I will do them and will write to you all later, k?

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
"Break your neck to keep your chin up." -Copeland

Friday night, whether alone or accompanied by friends, I will be going to Cooper Park in New Albany. I'm so excited. There is gonna be a Jazz Band and after dark they are gonna have a showing of Casablanca! I'm gonna take a quilt to spread on the grass and I think I'm gonna take a sketchbook too. That will make me happy. And I think that I am gonna sit back and people watch. OH! I'm getting giddy just thinking about it!

You should come...whoever you are....and if you see me, come say hello. I'll share my blanket with you and we will watch an old film together and enjoy life, yeah? I think so.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Appreciate God's artistic choices. Like your hair color. Thank him for that. Even if its gray.

Should be napping, but I'm blogging instead...

Whoever drew this little illustration up...well...they captured my heart. And you should let them capture yours as well.

They got it right. They summed it all up right there. I think the word that holds the most importance in that phrase is the word "stop". If you never stop :: If you never take just a brief second to look around, It is inevitable that you will let the pretty amazing part of this life waltz right on past you and you will be left breathing in the exhaust that is left behind.

Happens to me all the time. But I think I will take my own advice sometime soon ...and stop. And make a point to be thankful.

In other news:

Life is taking some turns. Hmmmmm....lets see. What areas should I report to those of you who care about whats goin on?

Work :: Well the studio is lovely. MESSY but lovely. This Friday night, I will be having an open house as a part of a fun event going on here in town called Art After Dark. Come on by and see what I've got going on here...I'm going to put up some of my fine art work from college too so it is sure to be a good time. Come see me :)

Home :: Oh Geez, I'm ready to have this wedding. It is fun but it is also stressing me out. I am very much enjoying getting to do Lindy's Calligraphy on her wedding invitations though. LOVE. IT.

Social :: Yesterday was the conclusion of a summer-long adventure that was known as Broadway 5. I loved it while it was here and now it is over and time to move on to other adventures. I will say, though, that there is nothing quite like stage time. If you have passion for this performing thing, it will eat away at your soul until it is fulfilled. Yes. Exactly.

Men :: Um.... Well..... Stay Tuned... ;) Yep... Just gonna leave you hanging on this one. Mostly because everything in this category that I could write is totally up in the air. Waiting is the worst part, right?

Love :: God has been especially good to me lately. Not that He isn't always, but He has really been smiling down on me in the last week or two. Because He loves me. He knows my heart. He knows that my heart had been hurting and I think He wanted to remind me in a very real way that He is always a step ahead of me...preparing for me refreshing new adventures. Ya know what? God can fix stuff. What an amazing quality. He can fix stuff. God = Mr. Fix it. He has been doing a lot of work on me this summer. He is working on fixing me. He is fixing parts of me that have been completely broken down. He is restoring me to the best version of Leslie....one...piece...at...a....time. And I love Him more everyday for that...because He doesn't have to do it all. But he wants to. He is Love. Therefore I should be also.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
If you come to a road block, re-route your GPS.

That's a tarp, not flashing blue lights...

Isn't the word "Dazzle" just a lovely exciting word!? "DAZZLE ME!!" I think I want to scream that to the world. Loudly. And I think the world is constantly screaming it right back at me, if the truth be known, all the time.

Hahahaha....ya know what? In some crazy twisted kinda way, I gonna reach out there and apply this to my love life as well, dang it. That's right fellas. You are gonna have to work for it. Dazzle me. I might give you a piece of my time. I'm not bending over backwards anymore.

I'm also gonna use this as an opportunity to invite you all to see "Broadway 5: Listen to the Music" at the Magnolia Civic Center on July 23, 24, and 25. Tickets are $10 and it will be quite an evening to behold, I PROMISE you this. You will be dazzled! (no jokes about the actual "bedazzler" are necessary at this point, thanks.)

Highlights of life these days:
-Blue Like Jazz. I'm reading again for the 3rd time. It always encourages my walk with Christ. I am giving it away after I finish it so i will be forced to find other encouragers. If you would like to be in the running to receive this precious gift, drop your name in the hat.

-I broke my dance shoe. It was tragically humorous but still broken at the end of the laughter. Crap.

-In the town of Memphrica, which holds one of the highest crime rates in the country, on last Friday night...the cops who should be out busting drug deals and locking up prostitues...well...they were instead choosing to chase me...and give me a ticket...because OBVIOUSLY I was the worst thing they could find happening on the sketch end of Lamar Ave. Yeah. White girl got a ticket for going 50 in a 40. I was profiled and if you want me to be completely transparent about the situation, I'm pissed.

-Today, I will begin a task that I am actually kinda pumped about! I will be starting the Calligraphy on my sister's wedding invitations!! WOO HOO! I have been pleasantly surprised at how well this art has come to me and will be offering it to the general public soon. Spread the word.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Stand your ground but when you are driving on it, don't speed lest the hounds be unleashed upon thee.

Attempt at defeating the Monday blues...

Begin Anywhere. Wow. Endless possibilities, right? This grabbed my attention in two completely different ways today.

1. It is Monday. *sigh* and if that isn't enough....it is rain-ish outside and there is nothing, let me assure you, that is less inspiring in this entire universe than a dreary wet grey Monday morning. The silver lining is that with the piles of creative opportunities stacked in my lap waiting to be tended to this week, I can....begin anywhere. I had an absolutely refreshing weekend. I spent time with some of my favorite people swimming and getting sun scorched....shooting roman candles and twirling with sparklers dressed up in my red, white and blue....hauling my happy self to the Orpheum to witness what may have been one of the most visually inspiring events I have seen in a while....aka...WICKED...and eating some good ole Delta shrimp at B.B. King's on Beale. So despite what my eyes are having to take in this morning, my mind is still feasting on this weekend. So on this Monday morning, I'm gonna begin exactly how I please and make something lovely today.

2. I have always been a rule-follower. Done what's right...whatever. That has been me. And I don't plan to change that. Following that plan of action, I believe, has molded me into a relatively neat character...maybe not...i could be fooling myself. Anyway, I guess somewhere in the past week or two, I have been inspired to shake things up a little. Live, ya know? Not like...go crazy and break the law or anything. Calm down...I'm not off my rockers. More along the lines of doing some things for Leslie instead of always thinking about the other person...doing some things for me. And putting aside the worry that comes along when you constantly are considering what other people think about you and your decisions. Again...I'm not talking about wild crazy stuff here...just talking about doing a few selfish things....for me. This is one of the only times in my life when I will ever be able to get away with that. I have no one attached to me right now...no men...no kids...and so if I am going to be selfish, it should most definitely happen now. And in that, I suppose I can begin anywhere...

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
We are TAUGHT that sharing is good, but sometimes we LEARN that sharing is bad.

July Two.

I wish I could say that I came up with that AMAZING concept and the visual for it as well...but I didn't. I just love the picture and adore the command that it states. I am a huge supporter of never cleaning your desk. I wish I could tell you how many times I have found little jewels lying in the depths of the junk atop my desk. Someone very wise gave some good advice in the above statement.

I'm gonna be heading out of town today and I'm pretty excited. I haven't had large amounts of peaceful drive time in a LONG long while. When I make it to where I'm going, I'll be helping out my big sis with her engagement pictures. So basically, today, my job is to be a sister. And I like that job.

Earlier this week, my job has been to be a painter. And let me tell you, there were moments during my painterly week that I would just catch myself in a state of complete satisfaction and hovering on the edge of bliss....just because I loved making brush strokes and transforming ugly into beautiful.

Life is returning to normal if such a thing exists. I'm finding routine and peace. It is easy around here to lose sight of beauty, particularly in the little things....one must make a conscious effort to find it. But praise Jesus, it is there hiding all over the place. Summer is alive and well and so the beauty I'm finding these days comes in the form of the watermelon juice and seeds left floating at the bottom after you have just over-consumed Mississippi's greatest summer treat and in a really bumpy and sometimes embarrassing ride in a bright orange convertible VW.

Folks, life is good. I'm smiling today. And I'm pretty sure I will smile tomorrow. Be safe this weekend. Shout-out to the troops. Thanks for doing what you do.

Today's pearl of wisdom:
Finish what you start.

ROCKSTAR!

Oh, yall....this is my attitude today. Several of you have commented on how you could tell my mood had been a little blue lately based on the things in my blog. But every single day reveals something new to me. And yesterday is a prime example of this. Yesterday, I learned some things and had a revelation or two and by golly, I'm ready to move on from sad stuff and be happy and thankful for the countless blessing and opportunities that are swarming around in my atmosphere right now at this very second.

Wow, that was one incredible run-on sentence, right? Sorry. Don't hate.

So for today, I will work and probably dance around in my studio while I do so. If you want to join my dance party, stop on in!

I'm happy to be free and independent. Today, I will be a rockstar.

Also, today, I'm gonna give a great big shout-out to my girls...yeah, you...the crazy ones who always come through in the clutch...Love yall!

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Putting confidence in an unreliable person is like chewing with a toothache or walking on a broken foot. Proverbs 25:19

Two in a row.

I have been sad lately. Not gonna lie. But Today is Monday, dang it. It is a new day and the beginning of a new week. So ya know what? I'm making a choice. To not be sad, despite some of the things that make me want to be. Ya know why? Because happiness is a choice. If we sit around and wait for happiness to come sweep us up off of our feet we will spend many days miserable and blue.

So today I will be happy. And this week I will be happy. I will find motivation in little things like cups of coffee and the little yellow flowers growing in the pots in front of my shop. And I will make something beautiful.

...and I will choose today to forget as much as possible the things that make me sad.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Forgiveness and Stupidity. Sometimes they look a lot alike.

It has been too long...

Finally got my business cards printed. This is what they look like. I'm quite pleased with them. If you pass me in the street, stop me and ask for one. I'll gladly hook you up.

*sigh*

I'm exhausted.

The past few weeks have really been overwhelming...both physically and emotionally...for me.

Instead of getting all deep with you and stuff...I guess I'll just make a random list of my thoughts, recent events, and observations, yeah?

1. When did gyms become requirements for churches? I don't know how I feel about that.
2. I love my studio. It has turned into my favorite place to be with the help of a whole lot of special people. Thanks, ya'll.
3. I've had busy nights. Between Broadway practice and Bible School, there has been not a second of free time.
4. I'm learning who to believe in and I'm also learning about life's disappointments. You know, like the situations where you do everything you can that is within legal boundaries and all your efforts still come up short or just can't make things better. Those disappointments. They are no fun to learn about. Especially no fun to experience.
5. Our Driveway is COMPLETE!!! ...no, seriously...that might be the highlight of my summer. Not kidding.
6. I'm tired of weddings.
7. I'm painting murals in a children's department at Macedonia Baptist Church. I like doing murals. They calm me down. And give me time to think. Which isn't altogether bad...but isn't altogether good either. If you wanna know why, Please reference #4 now.
8. The definition of love is incredibly ambiguous.
9. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.....shame on me, then.
10. I have really come to appreciate people who love me for who I am and not what I can do for them. I love them. And I am learning to distinguish between those who are genuinely proud of me and for me and those who aren't, ya know? I can tell by the authentic excitement in their voices and their willingness to help me in any way that they can. And THOSE are the people who make me want to be a better person and do a better job everyday that I wake up . So if you are one of those people, thank you.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
"Here comes the sun....its all right." -the Beatles

No Title.

That's all I have to say today. About a lot of things in my life.

...and if I feel that way about a lot of things in my life, then you should draw the conclusion that my life is filled with confusion.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
The biggest waste of hard earned money is on late fees for bills and movie rentals.

Need/Want

And there you have it folks. Seems like people are always saying that it is wrong to "want" things and that as long as your needs are met, you are fine. But dang it, sometimes we need the things we want. Selfish? Crazy? Maybe a little...but prime example....I really want to go work out but I don't have time. Well, I need to work out as well.

Same with love. I want to love and be loved. And love is something that everyone needs, regardless of what they say.

Very rarely are wants and needs categorized together but today, they shall be. The end.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Grandparents and God are great at giving advice.

This is me, ya'll. This is me. I'm learning so much these days. Education has taken on a whole new meaning now that it is no longer my main focus in life....Learning has become a hobby instead of a job and an obligation. And the things I'm learning aren't from books. They are from people.

Not only am I learning things from people but I'm learning about them as well. I'm learning which ones I don't want in my life and which ones I don't have time for. I'm also figuring out which ones are worth my time and deserve my attention. The glory of all of this is that we do actually have options. God gives us free will and choice in our lives. How beautiful and gracious and lovely is that? That we have the power in our hands to surround ourselves with love and in return pass it on to others.

In other news:

The studio is home now. I stay here all the time. People are starting to figure out that I'm here and I don't even have a sign up outside. It is quite interesting to just sit back and observe networking at its best. Man, I just sounded like my Dad, didn't I?

Matters of the heart are complicated and beautiful these days...but aren't they always?

Tonight, I'm taking my Grandmother and her Sunday School friend for a night out on the town...Dinner and Hee Haw at the local theatre. I'm certain it will be a good time.

Summer waltzed into town this week. It had serious heat and humidity packed in it's duffle. I'm not complaining though. Not at all. I welcomed it! Soon, the work on our house will be finished and sweet summertime and I will spend hours together enjoying each other.

Broadway practice starts Monday night. I hope that I'm stronger now than I was then. I'm anxious but optiomisitic. Amen.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Waiting is the hardest part.

If I say that to myself enough times in a row, surely I will start to believe it. My heart hurts a little over a lots of things. I'm still just a little girl just trying to please everyone else, I think.

Today's pearl of wisdom:
Independence comes with so many restrictions.

Processing...

I have reached this point in my life. I am there. On this journey that is "growing up" we wander the streets of obligation and commit ourselves to engagements in which we only find misery and drama. I'm gonna be honest. I'm struggling these day with learning how to leave these things in the ditch...learning how to NOT be the good Samaritan. Learning how to say no, friends. It is hard...maybe one of the most difficult lessons of my life thus far.

But today, there are people and things that I simply don't need. There is negative energy that I can leave in my dust as I drive toward a happier day. Call me selfish. If selfish is what I am being, selfish is what I should have been years ago. My heart is still big...wide open actually. But it does not invite those who want to paint it black. It is open to those who love me for me, and not what I can do for them.

I don't kiss up. I don't seek approval on who I am from anyone except my family and my Father. I won't change who I am and I don't squeeze into molds that I don't fit in, dang it.

Don't break me down. Don't use me and take me for granted. Don't put me through the hells that I have walked through before. Because I am a big strong girl now. And I am learning to say no.

One day, this rain will stop and the glow of the sunshine will burst through my window in all its glory and I will smile. And all of my friends who I love will see it and I will be happy and they will stand beside me and be happy too.

And I....I will figure things out.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Gracefully bowing out is sometimes better than being shoved out the back door unwillingly.

P.S. I'm not in a state of depression. Actually quite happy and determined. Just needed to vent. :)

Two Days in a row...I'm on a roll...

Got new glasses. I like them. They are sweet.

Now onto more profound and deep thoughts that have been plaguing my mind for a while now.

Yeah, you guessed it. Its about growing up. SURPRISE!

So here's the deal. I was raised, as many sweet little sheltered girls are, to believe that Prince Charming is out there...He is sitting on his white horse waiting for the right moment to come pick me up. Now....this could be true, but these day, that is totally not how I see it.

Its more like this: I have a choice. I get to choose who my Prince Charming is. And I get to choose who my Prince Charming is not. And believe it or not...Prince Charming is not gonna be a Prince. He is gonna be a guy. A man...with faults and insecurities and facial hair (hopefully...because I'm a fan). I'm just saying. Disney movies gave me a false hope of the way things really unfold. I still have hope but a much more realistic kind. The kind that understands that bills have to be paid and clothes have to be washed. Right? Maybe when I find it, it will for real be a fairy tale. My fairy tale. Probably won't include swords and castles though. Its funny how age has grounded me.

I still Dream.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Choose your fairy tale and live it.

Days Gone by...

Well, yall....I guess time flies when you're having fun. Or even when you aren't.

I have officially been graduated from MSU for a whole entire long semester. While so many of my friends were still living their lives in Starkville, I was surviving my first semester in the past 4.5 years in Ingomar...every....single...day....of ....it. There have been so many great things and blessings to cross my path in the past 6-ish months and there have also been days when I had no reservations about taking my dog and running away from home. Either way, it has certainly been an adventure and it has confirmed my belief in the ever popular quote "Bloom where you are planted."

If we don't do that, we will absolutely die. If we choose not to bloom where we are because we are too stubborn and don't want to, then our spirits will die and all enthusiasm for life will be totally wasted. Enthusiasm, my friends, is a terrible thing to waste. Why? Because you never know when a little enthusiasm can snowball into something really huge! And you also never know when it can have a positive effect on the way someone else's day will end. Enough of that, now.

My studio is making great strides toward completion. Im quite excited to get it finished up just right. It takes time though and that seems to be the thing that I just don't have enough of these days...I have PLENTY of socks and paint brushes and mud stains from our driveway...but time...time is precious and rare. People who have time to spend as they please are far more wealthy than they realize. I'm learning.

So I suppose today, I will put my rain boots on again and trudge my way to my truck. I will drive to my studio and stop in at the post office...as is the morning routine. I'll turn on some music and the 4 lamps that are sprinkled throughout my studio.....and I......I will work toward some kind of a goal. Completion is my goal. Everyday.

Hope you all have a beautiful day. Maybe the rain won't keep the sun from shining in your world today.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
If you are searching for instant gratification, don't try paving your driveway. Amen.

My Day Off...

Lovely typography, i think. Lovely saying as well. That is what my saturday thus far has consisted of. I woke up today at about 8:40 and ironically felt as if I had wasted my entire day. Its funny how I used to think that was waking up incredibly early and now, I feel guilty if I sleep much past 8. I wasted some time around the house with my mom and sister before I piled up and went to the studio. Today is the first day that I have not worked in my studio, but ON my studio. I finally started hanging pictures and it was a good time, yall. I had the Beatles singing to me, the sunshine bursting through my wide open door and my converse sitting by the door because I love to be barefoot. I. love. barefootness. I was also alone. I am quite introverted at times, believe it or not and sometime aloneliness is good.

I had to go fix one of my friend's hair for a wedding and now I am back. It occurred to me that I hadn't posted in quite a while so I thought I would catch up with you all. Nothing wild and crazy has been happening in my neck of the woods. I have seen the sunshine an unusually large amount this week and it has brightened my life...seriously...no pun intended. Sunshine puts me in a good mood.

I think I am rambling. Sorry today wasn't more...um...educating. The creative well is dry for now. Maybe in a day or two it will have been replenished and I'll be full of good stuff to tell ya!

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Coffee and Red Bull are not seditives. Amen.

More Time, please...

Well, folks...this is exactly what I want to do right now. Can you believe it has been 10 days since I posted? There is no excuse for that short of hospitalization. Actually, I have been so incredibly busy with life and work that I have had not a second of time for myself. Life is exhausting, yall.

I have nothing incredibly profound to say today. Just that I'd like to be lost in a beautiful place right now....where no one wants anything from me. And where what I gave away was of my own choosing, not by specific demand and/or force and deadline. Where more than just my artistic talent is recognized.

I'm aware that this is increasingly what my life will consist of...demand. I am just learning about it and adjusting to it though. That's all. I'm learning to work. REALLY work. Work HARD. Yeah, that's it.

I like it though. This is not a complaint. This is exhaustion talking. And its Monday. Uh Oh.

Anyway...IT IS Monday. A new week. New work. New roads to ride down. New trails that need to be blazed. And I am thankful for that.

So I'm gonna leave you with a Pearl and a smile.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
"NO" is a tiny word with immeasurable power. Use it sometime and be amazed.

check it out...

Three words with a world of meaning.

That is how I am starting to view my life. I am finally getting settled a bit and peace is resting on my doorstep. I am happy. Simply happy. I am in love with my daily routine. That is not to say that I don't invite change but I am satisfied with hand I have been dealt and I am breathing it in.

This week brought about some incredibly surprising but lovely encouragement.
It also brought about more work and a little bit of excitement that what I am wanting to do and be has potential for success, perhaps.

"Thank you" goes out to those encouraging me and supporting me and loving me while I figure things out.

My love to you all.

Today's Pink Pearl of Wisdom:
The world's rotation isn't concerned with your schedule. It continues. So must we.

The Divine Appointment...

If you keep up with this blog, even remotely at all, you understand that at this point in my life, everything is not in place. That should be clear. I face new struggles every single day. Some good, some not so good at all. But there is real beauty in that...really.

First of all, it is refreshing to have a heightened sense of recognition when you are on time for a Divine appointment, and I believe strongly in these. When the walk of every day life is smooth, we neglect these appointments and pass them off as merely part of a nice day. But when waking up isn't a fun option because you know that the daytime might create more problems than solutions, a Divine appointment...being where God wants you to be for a reason...is satisfying because you know that you are a part of a plan. A beautiful one.

Second of all, struggles keep me humble. And they also allow for an opened mind in the direction of guidance and Godly advice. I was rambling on about the whole "I'm single...blah blah blah" issue the other night and someone offered some beautiful words to me. The said that the search for love is just like a storm. Its a process and it must be waited out...It is not something we can hurry ourselves through. We. Must. Wait. I have very much enjoyed that comparison and I think there are other struggles that apply to that as well. But regardless, we learn. We learn to wait. We learn to be observant and we become enduring. Our character is strengthened.

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."

This is what I shall do. Seek Him and wait for "all these things" or whatever. He is a God of provision.
Amen.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Some doors are meant to stay shut.

Hi...

Lewis Carroll didn't know what an impact that fantastical saying would have on my life...it is one of my all-time fav-or-ites! and it is exactly how I feel today. Encouraged and excited. About what, I am not very sure but I have a feeling today will be worth waking up to enjoy.

I hope that you feel the same way too.

I am blessed and I have much to be thankful for...much to be inspired about.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
An open mind in a small town is a serious weapon.

So what's new?

...and that is just what I am trying to do with the feelings of inadequacy that have been plaguing my thoughts and my efforts lately. At a time in my life when I should be most motivated and encouraged, there are lots of departments in my life that seem less than good enough. Whether it is failure to measure up to a certain standard in one area or inability in another, I'm just feeling weak mentally these days. Hopefully, in a week or three, this will pass. I am confident that it will.

In other news:
- I got my eyes checked today. They have gotten worse. I am getting new glasses and I can't wait! They are kinda big and nerdy but that look is coming back in...really it is...hahah!

-My coffee intake is at an all-time high.

-Since being home, the past again has resurfaced. I can't decide if that is good or bad but it sure is fun.

-Class reunion is soon. O Dang.

-M*A*S*H is even sooner! AH! No stress. yeah. right. that's it.

*sigh* I'm tired and I don't get to go to bed tonight because I have too much to do. I'll sleep when I'm dead, I suppose.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Confidence, Jesus, and fried dill pickles are essentials to pack in the suitcase of life.

M*A*S*H---you should come see it! Magnolia Civic Center April 2,3,and 4 at 7:30 pm. Tickets are only $8. We've put a whole lot of work into this play and we would love for you to come and allow us to perform for you!!

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Buy your ticket in advance.

And in the great spirit of this Starbucks cup, I will share some simply FABULOUS news with you all. 

I have a studio/office/place of my very own in which to work and exist and create and dream and laugh and make mistakes and find success. I cannot even remotely explain to you how I feel about this! I am so stinkin' happy...and nervous...and relieved. Yeah. It is time. I'm about to finally spread my wings and do some big things. I can't wait. I mean, really... I can't even write intelligently right now because I feel like a 15 year old girl who just got her first car or something. I am practically giddy!

I should just shut up now. I'm done. :D

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:

Being scared to death is perfectly natural. Allowing fear to stop you from moving forward is not.

Well, isn't that enlightening?? Someone found an amazing way to put things in perspective.

In other news, I am hopefully going to be moving my "very poor taste"-based job into a studio/office of sorts. I'm very excited because I think I am going to find myself being much more productive and excited about life. 

Today's pearl of wisdom:

Life in the fast lane is overrated. Sometimes it is better on a small street in a small town in an orange convertible. 

Somewhere in my imagination...

Come go along with me. Any of you. We will find this place and I will play you a tune.  We will have almonds and rose water for a snack and lay in the grass and look at the clouds. 

And life will be good.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:

Finish what you start. 

 

Talking too much about nothing at all...

Amazing News.

I finally got a tag! (or stickers anyway. Its gonna take 2-4 weeks to get the actual tag). I'm so pumped! My dream car and I will finally be able to spend some time together.  Forget the IPod. The sweet music that will entertain me now will be the hum of the engine and the wind blowing through my hair...making me look like a poodle, no doubt. But I don't care. These wheels have been hanging out in my yard teasing me all winter and now...its time. Spring is almost here and I am finally going to have warm weather and fun drive time. 

These days, I am seeking happiness. However that may be...wherever I can find it. And as crazy as it seems, when I seek it out, it almost always appears. I have learned that I have to take action though because just like with many other things in life, if I sit around, act spoiled, and expect someone to hand me happiness on a silver platter, I will be very disappointed. 

I say all of that to explain why I am so excited about the VW. I am already planning on having a good summer. I don't think it is going to be as much of an adventure as some of my previous summers but I think that it will be fun because I am going to make a point to enjoy the little Things...or the orange ones...hahah! I want to drive it to the lake with the top back. I want to take it to sonic on the warm late afternoons and grab a Route 44 cranberry limeade. I want to load canvases in the back and deliver them to people who love art just as much as I do. I want to take my dog for a ride in it and watch his big ears fly back. It will not be a provider of happiness, because happiness isn't an object...its a choice, but it will be a contributing factor in my decision to be a happy girl. I'm making appointments if you wanna join me this summer for a happy day. Just call if you are interested.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:

If what you want is out of reach-dang it...go get a ladder.

Magnolia Civic Center presents:

This probably isn't what you were expecting to see when you clicked over to my blog today. I have an announcement to make though. M*A*S*H will be presented on April 2,3, and 4 at the Magnolia Civic Center in New Albany. It is going to be really great not just because I'm in it....I promise....I am totally joking there. I'm so green on stage. Really. Im much better at holding a microphone but I suppose it can't hurt to broaden my horizons a little. AND it gives me a reason to leave my house each night and see other people. Actually, It has been a refreshing experience.

So come out of your unsocial shell, go have dinner at the Coffee Addict OR Vainisi's (both are really great!!) and stroll on down to the theater. Seriously. You'll enjoy it.

Now. In other news...

>Love is in the air. Apparently not mine...but the air somewhere, because I already have 6 weddings scheduled in my planner to attend. That isn't including the one that I had to sing at in Memphis in January. I don't go to weddings unless I have to...singing in them regularly (which I somehow manage to do) will burn you out quickly.

>Daddy is getting closer and closer to being ready to pour concrete! There will be no one who will appreciate a paved driveway better than me. Oh please Jesus, save the rain for later. Amen.

>The Coffee Addict is my new best friend. Great little place in downtown New Albany. Everyone should give it a shot...hahahaha...no pun intended. (...of espresso...get it?!) Anyway, it is one of my new happy places. Its legit and I'm fixing to go there.

Peace out.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Be conservative with conversation...save some for later.

Good morning, Ingomar...

About two years ago, this was my adventure. I was awake at 4 am water coloring the sunrise on a lookout point in Vicenza, Italy...just after a 1-hour hike. Every moment that I spent in Italy, I had this exciting and refreshing feeling hovering in my chest. It moved back and forth between uncertainty and confidence, joy and fear.

This morning, I had to let my dog out to do his business and the air outside smelled so amazing that I couldn't stop myself from taking a seat on our back patio and inhaling it. There I sat with a cup of coffee in hand, wrapped in my pink house robe, barefoot and happy. I had that same feeling. Exciting and Refreshing...back and forth between uncertainty and confidence, joy and fear. Because in some crazy part of my being, I am standing in the same place today as I was two years ago. Home is still the same but I am looking at it through completely different eyes now. I know I have adventures and exciting things ahead of me-some easy and some so complicated. I am having to make big girl steps without knowing what will be under my feet when they come down. I am wandering blind and praying for the best.

Today, another week starts and I have tons of work to do. Invitations to create, T-shirts to dream up, Identity work to design, furniture re-finishing to complete, class reunion to plan, play lines to learn...the list grows every day. I love what I do. And I love when the weather is lovely outside. Good weather and good work puts me in a good mood.

Thanks you, Father, for giving us sunshine and sharpie markers.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Growing up happens in baby steps.