Friday, May 29, 2009

This is me, ya'll. This is me. I'm learning so much these days. Education has taken on a whole new meaning now that it is no longer my main focus in life....Learning has become a hobby instead of a job and an obligation. And the things I'm learning aren't from books. They are from people.

Not only am I learning things from people but I'm learning about them as well. I'm learning which ones I don't want in my life and which ones I don't have time for. I'm also figuring out which ones are worth my time and deserve my attention. The glory of all of this is that we do actually have options. God gives us free will and choice in our lives. How beautiful and gracious and lovely is that? That we have the power in our hands to surround ourselves with love and in return pass it on to others.

In other news:

The studio is home now. I stay here all the time. People are starting to figure out that I'm here and I don't even have a sign up outside. It is quite interesting to just sit back and observe networking at its best. Man, I just sounded like my Dad, didn't I?

Matters of the heart are complicated and beautiful these days...but aren't they always?

Tonight, I'm taking my Grandmother and her Sunday School friend for a night out on the town...Dinner and Hee Haw at the local theatre. I'm certain it will be a good time.

Summer waltzed into town this week. It had serious heat and humidity packed in it's duffle. I'm not complaining though. Not at all. I welcomed it! Soon, the work on our house will be finished and sweet summertime and I will spend hours together enjoying each other.

Broadway practice starts Monday night. I hope that I'm stronger now than I was then. I'm anxious but optiomisitic. Amen.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Waiting is the hardest part.

Monday, May 25, 2009

If I say that to myself enough times in a row, surely I will start to believe it. My heart hurts a little over a lots of things. I'm still just a little girl just trying to please everyone else, I think.

Today's pearl of wisdom:
Independence comes with so many restrictions.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


I have reached this point in my life. I am there. On this journey that is "growing up" we wander the streets of obligation and commit ourselves to engagements in which we only find misery and drama. I'm gonna be honest. I'm struggling these day with learning how to leave these things in the ditch...learning how to NOT be the good Samaritan. Learning how to say no, friends. It is hard...maybe one of the most difficult lessons of my life thus far.

But today, there are people and things that I simply don't need. There is negative energy that I can leave in my dust as I drive toward a happier day. Call me selfish. If selfish is what I am being, selfish is what I should have been years ago. My heart is still big...wide open actually. But it does not invite those who want to paint it black. It is open to those who love me for me, and not what I can do for them.

I don't kiss up. I don't seek approval on who I am from anyone except my family and my Father. I won't change who I am and I don't squeeze into molds that I don't fit in, dang it.

Don't break me down. Don't use me and take me for granted. Don't put me through the hells that I have walked through before. Because I am a big strong girl now. And I am learning to say no.

One day, this rain will stop and the glow of the sunshine will burst through my window in all its glory and I will smile. And all of my friends who I love will see it and I will be happy and they will stand beside me and be happy too.

And I....I will figure things out.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Gracefully bowing out is sometimes better than being shoved out the back door unwillingly.

P.S. I'm not in a state of depression. Actually quite happy and determined. Just needed to vent. :)

Friday, May 8, 2009

Two Days in a row...I'm on a roll...

Got new glasses. I like them. They are sweet.

Now onto more profound and deep thoughts that have been plaguing my mind for a while now.

Yeah, you guessed it. Its about growing up. SURPRISE!

So here's the deal. I was raised, as many sweet little sheltered girls are, to believe that Prince Charming is out there...He is sitting on his white horse waiting for the right moment to come pick me up. Now....this could be true, but these day, that is totally not how I see it.

Its more like this: I have a choice. I get to choose who my Prince Charming is. And I get to choose who my Prince Charming is not. And believe it or not...Prince Charming is not gonna be a Prince. He is gonna be a guy. A man...with faults and insecurities and facial hair (hopefully...because I'm a fan). I'm just saying. Disney movies gave me a false hope of the way things really unfold. I still have hope but a much more realistic kind. The kind that understands that bills have to be paid and clothes have to be washed. Right? Maybe when I find it, it will for real be a fairy tale. My fairy tale. Probably won't include swords and castles though. Its funny how age has grounded me.

I still Dream.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Choose your fairy tale and live it.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Days Gone by...

Well, yall....I guess time flies when you're having fun. Or even when you aren't.

I have officially been graduated from MSU for a whole entire long semester. While so many of my friends were still living their lives in Starkville, I was surviving my first semester in the past 4.5 years in There have been so many great things and blessings to cross my path in the past 6-ish months and there have also been days when I had no reservations about taking my dog and running away from home. Either way, it has certainly been an adventure and it has confirmed my belief in the ever popular quote "Bloom where you are planted."

If we don't do that, we will absolutely die. If we choose not to bloom where we are because we are too stubborn and don't want to, then our spirits will die and all enthusiasm for life will be totally wasted. Enthusiasm, my friends, is a terrible thing to waste. Why? Because you never know when a little enthusiasm can snowball into something really huge! And you also never know when it can have a positive effect on the way someone else's day will end. Enough of that, now.

My studio is making great strides toward completion. Im quite excited to get it finished up just right. It takes time though and that seems to be the thing that I just don't have enough of these days...I have PLENTY of socks and paint brushes and mud stains from our driveway...but time...time is precious and rare. People who have time to spend as they please are far more wealthy than they realize. I'm learning.

So I suppose today, I will put my rain boots on again and trudge my way to my truck. I will drive to my studio and stop in at the post is the morning routine. I'll turn on some music and the 4 lamps that are sprinkled throughout my studio.....and I......I will work toward some kind of a goal. Completion is my goal. Everyday.

Hope you all have a beautiful day. Maybe the rain won't keep the sun from shining in your world today.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
If you are searching for instant gratification, don't try paving your driveway. Amen.