Processing...

I have reached this point in my life. I am there. On this journey that is "growing up" we wander the streets of obligation and commit ourselves to engagements in which we only find misery and drama. I'm gonna be honest. I'm struggling these day with learning how to leave these things in the ditch...learning how to NOT be the good Samaritan. Learning how to say no, friends. It is hard...maybe one of the most difficult lessons of my life thus far.

But today, there are people and things that I simply don't need. There is negative energy that I can leave in my dust as I drive toward a happier day. Call me selfish. If selfish is what I am being, selfish is what I should have been years ago. My heart is still big...wide open actually. But it does not invite those who want to paint it black. It is open to those who love me for me, and not what I can do for them.

I don't kiss up. I don't seek approval on who I am from anyone except my family and my Father. I won't change who I am and I don't squeeze into molds that I don't fit in, dang it.

Don't break me down. Don't use me and take me for granted. Don't put me through the hells that I have walked through before. Because I am a big strong girl now. And I am learning to say no.

One day, this rain will stop and the glow of the sunshine will burst through my window in all its glory and I will smile. And all of my friends who I love will see it and I will be happy and they will stand beside me and be happy too.

And I....I will figure things out.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Gracefully bowing out is sometimes better than being shoved out the back door unwillingly.

P.S. I'm not in a state of depression. Actually quite happy and determined. Just needed to vent. :)