So what's new?

...and that is just what I am trying to do with the feelings of inadequacy that have been plaguing my thoughts and my efforts lately. At a time in my life when I should be most motivated and encouraged, there are lots of departments in my life that seem less than good enough. Whether it is failure to measure up to a certain standard in one area or inability in another, I'm just feeling weak mentally these days. Hopefully, in a week or three, this will pass. I am confident that it will.

In other news:
- I got my eyes checked today. They have gotten worse. I am getting new glasses and I can't wait! They are kinda big and nerdy but that look is coming back in...really it is...hahah!

-My coffee intake is at an all-time high.

-Since being home, the past again has resurfaced. I can't decide if that is good or bad but it sure is fun.

-Class reunion is soon. O Dang.

-M*A*S*H is even sooner! AH! No stress. yeah. right. that's it.

*sigh* I'm tired and I don't get to go to bed tonight because I have too much to do. I'll sleep when I'm dead, I suppose.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Confidence, Jesus, and fried dill pickles are essentials to pack in the suitcase of life.

M*A*S*H---you should come see it! Magnolia Civic Center April 2,3,and 4 at 7:30 pm. Tickets are only $8. We've put a whole lot of work into this play and we would love for you to come and allow us to perform for you!!

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Buy your ticket in advance.

And in the great spirit of this Starbucks cup, I will share some simply FABULOUS news with you all. 

I have a studio/office/place of my very own in which to work and exist and create and dream and laugh and make mistakes and find success. I cannot even remotely explain to you how I feel about this! I am so stinkin' happy...and nervous...and relieved. Yeah. It is time. I'm about to finally spread my wings and do some big things. I can't wait. I mean, really... I can't even write intelligently right now because I feel like a 15 year old girl who just got her first car or something. I am practically giddy!

I should just shut up now. I'm done. :D

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:

Being scared to death is perfectly natural. Allowing fear to stop you from moving forward is not.

Well, isn't that enlightening?? Someone found an amazing way to put things in perspective.

In other news, I am hopefully going to be moving my "very poor taste"-based job into a studio/office of sorts. I'm very excited because I think I am going to find myself being much more productive and excited about life. 

Today's pearl of wisdom:

Life in the fast lane is overrated. Sometimes it is better on a small street in a small town in an orange convertible. 

Somewhere in my imagination...

Come go along with me. Any of you. We will find this place and I will play you a tune.  We will have almonds and rose water for a snack and lay in the grass and look at the clouds. 

And life will be good.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:

Finish what you start. 

 

Talking too much about nothing at all...

Amazing News.

I finally got a tag! (or stickers anyway. Its gonna take 2-4 weeks to get the actual tag). I'm so pumped! My dream car and I will finally be able to spend some time together.  Forget the IPod. The sweet music that will entertain me now will be the hum of the engine and the wind blowing through my hair...making me look like a poodle, no doubt. But I don't care. These wheels have been hanging out in my yard teasing me all winter and now...its time. Spring is almost here and I am finally going to have warm weather and fun drive time. 

These days, I am seeking happiness. However that may be...wherever I can find it. And as crazy as it seems, when I seek it out, it almost always appears. I have learned that I have to take action though because just like with many other things in life, if I sit around, act spoiled, and expect someone to hand me happiness on a silver platter, I will be very disappointed. 

I say all of that to explain why I am so excited about the VW. I am already planning on having a good summer. I don't think it is going to be as much of an adventure as some of my previous summers but I think that it will be fun because I am going to make a point to enjoy the little Things...or the orange ones...hahah! I want to drive it to the lake with the top back. I want to take it to sonic on the warm late afternoons and grab a Route 44 cranberry limeade. I want to load canvases in the back and deliver them to people who love art just as much as I do. I want to take my dog for a ride in it and watch his big ears fly back. It will not be a provider of happiness, because happiness isn't an object...its a choice, but it will be a contributing factor in my decision to be a happy girl. I'm making appointments if you wanna join me this summer for a happy day. Just call if you are interested.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:

If what you want is out of reach-dang it...go get a ladder.

Magnolia Civic Center presents:

This probably isn't what you were expecting to see when you clicked over to my blog today. I have an announcement to make though. M*A*S*H will be presented on April 2,3, and 4 at the Magnolia Civic Center in New Albany. It is going to be really great not just because I'm in it....I promise....I am totally joking there. I'm so green on stage. Really. Im much better at holding a microphone but I suppose it can't hurt to broaden my horizons a little. AND it gives me a reason to leave my house each night and see other people. Actually, It has been a refreshing experience.

So come out of your unsocial shell, go have dinner at the Coffee Addict OR Vainisi's (both are really great!!) and stroll on down to the theater. Seriously. You'll enjoy it.

Now. In other news...

>Love is in the air. Apparently not mine...but the air somewhere, because I already have 6 weddings scheduled in my planner to attend. That isn't including the one that I had to sing at in Memphis in January. I don't go to weddings unless I have to...singing in them regularly (which I somehow manage to do) will burn you out quickly.

>Daddy is getting closer and closer to being ready to pour concrete! There will be no one who will appreciate a paved driveway better than me. Oh please Jesus, save the rain for later. Amen.

>The Coffee Addict is my new best friend. Great little place in downtown New Albany. Everyone should give it a shot...hahahaha...no pun intended. (...of espresso...get it?!) Anyway, it is one of my new happy places. Its legit and I'm fixing to go there.

Peace out.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Be conservative with conversation...save some for later.

Good morning, Ingomar...

About two years ago, this was my adventure. I was awake at 4 am water coloring the sunrise on a lookout point in Vicenza, Italy...just after a 1-hour hike. Every moment that I spent in Italy, I had this exciting and refreshing feeling hovering in my chest. It moved back and forth between uncertainty and confidence, joy and fear.

This morning, I had to let my dog out to do his business and the air outside smelled so amazing that I couldn't stop myself from taking a seat on our back patio and inhaling it. There I sat with a cup of coffee in hand, wrapped in my pink house robe, barefoot and happy. I had that same feeling. Exciting and Refreshing...back and forth between uncertainty and confidence, joy and fear. Because in some crazy part of my being, I am standing in the same place today as I was two years ago. Home is still the same but I am looking at it through completely different eyes now. I know I have adventures and exciting things ahead of me-some easy and some so complicated. I am having to make big girl steps without knowing what will be under my feet when they come down. I am wandering blind and praying for the best.

Today, another week starts and I have tons of work to do. Invitations to create, T-shirts to dream up, Identity work to design, furniture re-finishing to complete, class reunion to plan, play lines to learn...the list grows every day. I love what I do. And I love when the weather is lovely outside. Good weather and good work puts me in a good mood.

Thanks you, Father, for giving us sunshine and sharpie markers.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Growing up happens in baby steps.

I found it! I found it!

I know, I know...I said I wasn't gonna write again for a while. But I lied. Sorry folks, it happens. I just couldn't stay away. This is my therapy.

The good news is that I did find my sunshine. I had to open my eyes a little though. Tough to see the light when you are comfortable rolling around in the dark clouds.

So in complete and total tribute to my love for list-making, here is a list of good thinks in my day:

+ The A.M. workout. If you want to feel good about yourself, go workout around 8:30 or 9 in the morning. There won't be a soul there under 87 years old. A COMPLETE confidence booster. Amen.

+During my workout, the guy who does my hair called. He was inquiring as to why I was working out and trying to achieve a "boney a**." In front all of the 87 year old men who did not realize what the other conversation participant was saying, I screamed out "Because I'm trying to fit my boney a** into a bridesmaid dress!"...it occurred to me later that anyone who heard me make this statement probably considered pulling me over to a corner and kindly explaining to me that I was not of the "boney" nature and that somewhere along the line, I had been misled...hahahaha! Humor. Wow. But ya know what? I am finding myself to be much more straight forward and honest these days. If I don't like something, I will say it. If I do, I will say. This approach to life is very liberating and it cuts out on unnecessary drama. Praise Jesus.

+ I got to make a mess today. And Dang it, i loooovvvee making a mess. Painted some burlap for the play we are doing up town (Oh, you haven't heard? I'm an actress. Not really. But I have fun pretending) Spray painted some stuff in my mom's kitchen. She was (not) happy. Oh well. Deal. I enjoyed it.

+MAC PEOPLE CALLED AND SAID MY COMPUTER IS FIXED!!! YAY!!!

+Play practice was nice. Being around people makes me a happy little girl. I love good company.

+One of my BFF's came home and I had the infamous Huddle House cup of joe with her. She is a blessing in my life. We decided we will have a date with each other this weekend because we unfortunately don't have any white knights calling us up and trying to rescue our sweet souls. If you know of any wandering around, let us know. We are looking.

+I probably shouldn't even confess this because it is lame but I just rode around alone after Huddle House. And listened to music. And burned gas. And I was happy. Nice night-time joy ride to end the day.

I'm trying to wear my rose-colored glasses again as I used to do all the time. I hope that you have a pair tucked away somewhere and use them from time to time. It is a healthy thing to count your blessings and thank your Creator for his graciousness in His provisions. I send my love to you all.

Today's Pear of Wisdom:
The fear of asking questions doubles as submission to ignorance.

My tummy is growling...

Welp, here's the deal. My hardrive failed on my computer. I am using a pc to type this little note. So basically here is what I have to say.

I am searching for the sunshine.

Friend of mine so kindly pointed out that the blog hasn't been too cheery lately. Thanks Ty.

Its true. Just had a lot on my mind lately.

But I am searching for the sunshine. I probably won't write again for a while though because I'm not gonna re-post until I find it.

And I don't have a computer.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Do the job your parents choose for you. I'm sure you'll be happy forever that way.

*Today's Pearl of Wisdom is dripping in sarcasm and is intended to be read in a manner that one would do just the opposite.