Tis the Season for Garden Gnomes...

I'm not a huge fan of spring but I'll tell you what I am a huge fan of......GARDEN GNOMES! I love them and I think they are so wonderfully pleasant. This is the time of year when stores start stocking them too. So if you see me wandering around the garden section of any given local store, get no ideas. I am not a gardener. I am just in search of the protectors of them. Yay, Garden Gnomes!!

So today I was thinking. Scary, right? And I think I figured out right now why I am struggling with just...stuff...in general. This is the first time in my life when I have had to be entirely self-motivated. There has never been another time in my life when I was not seeking the approval of someone else, whether it be a teacher or cheerleading coach or Delta Gamma advisor. I have always been working to please other people. Now, I am the person who I am having to please and I think I am scared to death that what I have to offer will not be good enough for me. Its almost as if one side of my brain is having to answer to the other side of my brain and they are constantly fighting these days.

I'm guessing at this point, you are looking up a facility in the yellow pages where you could have me committed.

Don't worry. I'm fine. I just have some decisions to make. Some big ones. And they are just constantly swimming in my head. Writing here helps me reason.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Sometimes, answers to important questions like to play Hide-and-seek.

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I promise...Optimism is in the forecast.

Thanks, Oh So Beautiful Paper, for letting me borrow this amazing picture.

Sometimes I think that applies to me...so this image makes me a happy girl.

Yesterday was a productive day. My sister found her wedding dress. Moving forward.

I am so scattered these days.

Ever wondered why the name of my blog is what it is? Well, it isn't because I love the color pink. Or pink pearls. It is because I was sitting in life drawing class one day staring at my "Pink Pearl" eraser (yep, that's the name brand) and decided that Pink Pearls of Wisdom has a nice not-so-obvious artistic reference. Its about an eraser. We use them all the time. Because we mess up a lot. As Artists. Kinda the same way with life. I concluded that maybe someone else could benefit from the mistakes that I make if I would just offer a window of insight into them. My life isn't about mistakes. Not at all. But at this point in my life, it seems like I am making a lot of them-or at least some people think so. I don't know.

There is a lot of humor in mistakes, really. Like Mardi Gras last weekend. Jess and I were fighting for beads and somehow, in the middle of a huge crowd, I tripped over a tree root and fell all the way on my face (in complete sobriety) and almost caused a domino effect in the crowd. Oh the humiliation. But I learned to find a flat surface to stand on while trying to catch beads. That's the important part, right?

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Don't listen to a 23-year-old blogger when searching for wisdom. They might not know what they are talking about.

A letter...

Dear Friends,

Life is scary. Other people try to live vicariously through you and steer you in directions that might not be what you want or need. And then you get confused.

And then there are some people who compare you to others like you are a participant in a beauty pageant...instead of an individual. And you begin to wonder if you are good enough.

And there are people who tell you that your dreams are too far away and unrealistic. There are people who expect you to settle-to forget lines that you have drawn and standards that you have set.

There are people who don't believe in you and they are waiting to see you fail...and sometimes...these people are much closer than you think.

There will only be a few champions who will cheer you on when you have been tossed into the ring with the tiger; only a few who pick you to be the winner.

I was not the prom queen and I am not a pharmacist. All of my ducks are still trying to figure out how to line up. Maybe they are confused too. Selling apples out of an old car in a third world country is tempting right now.

If you figure out the answer, let me know.

Sincerely,
Leslie


Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Getting your own P.O. Box is the first step in identity development.

Oh, Valentime's Day...

Happy Valentine's Day. Or Happy Singles Awareness Day. Or Happy Saturday. However you should view it. This is one of the Valentine's shirts I designed this year for Elite Gymnastics II in Tupelo. I thought it was nice-mainly because of the message. It is uplifting. I don't really feel all "lovey" today or anything but I thought I could at the very least, offer up some heart-felt encouragement.

...and on the topic of heart-felt, here are some heart-felt thoughts on my life lately...some even about my love life---that's right---I'm bearing my soul.

> I'm selfish with love. I shouldn't be. In Blue Like Jazz, an amazing book, mention is made of us giving out love like we give out money. The thing is, however, that love is free and it shouldn't pain us to hand it out. There is a similarity though...because if you give out too much of either, you run a real risk of being broke (or broken...for you grammatically sensitive people). I fear that. But I am working to improve that fear.

> Love is easy to identify and express during "love" holidays but sometimes I sit back and try to decide what exactly love is when it manifests itself in everyday events. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to witness true sparks of it and be conscious enough to recognize what I've seen. To me, this is love: Acceptance despite flaws, Patience at the height of aggravation, and kindness always. An older couple in my church who might as well be my grandparents are great examples to me of love. He still opens her car door for her and she still looks at him like he is her knight in shining armor. It is beautiful, really.

> I could be bitter about today. Love...ugh. Ha! Someone even recently told me I could be their second "Valentine." It was a nice gesture but I have to kindly pass on the offer. I've been #2 in lots of things in my life. But on Valentine's Day, I'd rather be #1. Even if it is #1 in my own life. I am a loved person. Perhaps not exactly the kind of love I want as a 23 year-old single college graduate but I am thankful for those who do love me. And I am content with the cards I have been dealt. I am patiently waiting.

>The above statement was my justification and comfort to myself for this ridiculous day.

>I miss my friends in Starkville whom I love dearly. I know if I was there, we would all go see a sappy movie and eat lots of depression food together.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Don't carry your love in your wallet. Rather- pretend like it is fruitcake and give as much of it away as possible.

"Ya Know, my cousin took some art classes in high school..."

The above wedding invitation was smuggled over from a great blog I have previously mentioned on this site. Isn't that illustration just DELICIOUS!?! I love it. There is something lovely about the way it isn't perfect. They (whoever "they" are) always say imperfections add character and in this case, they are right. I think my wedding invite will look like this, assuming I ever have a wedding. I think I want it on aged and weathered and yellowed newsprint, delicate and beautiful. Just like this one.

Um, I discovered a new disgust of mine. Of course, it has to do with art. Doesn't everything though? So lately, since moving home, when I talk with people who I haven't seen in a while, they ask me what I'm doing with myself. I tell them and for some reason, everyone responds like this:

"Oh you do art? Yeah, aw, I had a cousin that took some art classes back in high school...they could look at something and draw it just exactly the same as the picture! I bet you might could do something like that. Yall would probably get along....blah, blah, blah..."

I know these people mean no harm. And even more than that, I know they are just trying to identify with me and I am thankful for that. However, I never go up to an engineer and say "Oh, my sister took some math classes in high school...i'm sure you guys would be bff!" It doesn't work that way. So why do people think that I am still on a 9th grade art level? I most certainly am still learning and I know that I will never know everything there is to know-but it is frustrating to have my abilities shriveled down to a lower high school level when it consumed my life for over 4 years (and still does), just the same as other professions do for their occupants. This is gonna be a tough transition from childhood to grown-up land, I'm afraid. Hmph.

That little schpill wasn't out of hate or anger. Mostly frustrations. That's all. I'll get over it. I can deal.

Life in all capacities is fabulous these days. I find myself working each day and saying to myself, "I love my job." That's a good sign, right? Well, I think so. I am thankful. I am a blessed little girl. I've also had the opportunity to hang out with a friend from a few years ago in my life and I enjoy him. Its wild how your past can show up in the present, and it is just that...a present. Thank you, past, for reappearing.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Don't capitalize on the imperfections of others, but embrace your own.

Happenins

Oh, Friends... It has been too long.

So here are some things for you to read:

1) I just caught myself crying while watching The Biggest Loser because one of the girls had this amazing breakthrough and carried a 280 pound man on her back. It moved me. Such an amazing show. Amazing.

2) I went to Starkville last weekend. It was amazing. I needed time with my friends and boy do I have some good ones!! It was so weird being down there with no place to call home though. That's the first time I've experienced that in 3.5 years. For real.

3) My parents are in Las Vegas. I'm jealous because they are getting to see Cirque de Soleil: The Beatles.

4) I have been afflicted with bronchitis and sinusitis...and let me just tell you...I feel like I've been hit by a herd of water buffalo. In the past 3 days, my fever has been up and down, each afternoon checking in at 103, 102, and 101 respectively (even after rotations of tylenol, ibuprofin, and antibiotics.) My throat also feels like someone planted shards of glass in it.

5) Almost sacked out at the doctor's office today...it was amazing. After they gave me my 4 prescriptions, I went to pay and basically within the next 5 minutes, I had stumbled to the bathroom, caught the attention of some nurses, turned green, almost passed out, and found myself reclined with wet cloths all over me. Quite a performance....one I could have lived without, to be honest.

6) I had a date last week....and I stepped in dog poop. I was so embarassed. Story of my life. All else went well though.


So I suppose that is all for now. No deep insight into anything really...just catching y'all up a little. Peace Out.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Treat your friends well. Their couch sleeps better than your car's back seat.