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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

?

This is the testament of my life right now. This is the cry of my heart. This is the first breath I inhale in the mornings and the thought that embraces me as I drift off to sleep each night. I. don't. know. what. to. do.

I have two parents who would do anything to fix this for me. But all I feel is resentment following every discussion about my life.

I don't want my life to be mediocre. I don't want to tell my grandchildren boring stories. I want to write my biography in such a way that people couldn't put it down...that it would be an adventure of epic proportions. Sometimes I feel like there aren't many people around me who want that same thing. I feel like the world around me is content and I can't seem to be okay with that.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know where all of this has come from and I don't know what the answer is but I know that I feel like a bird in a cage. My flame is dying out, my motivation is dwindling, my spirit is dying. And I don't know how to fix it.

I pray a lot these days...because I know that in reality, I am blessed so far beyond what I have ever deserved. Sometimes, though.... think that maybe I was meant for more....

Today's pearl of wisdom:
Pride and Obligation will not keep you happy.

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