Welcome Back

After months of tossing around re-entering the blogging community, I decided to make it a reality. 

Re-entering. Yes. 

If you have looked around even a little bit, you noticed this isn't my first blog on this page. A few years ago, I used this as an outlet while I was trying to figure out "what in the world" I was suppose to be doing. I thought perhaps I needed to start a completely separate new blog to focus solely on business but my life and my job are tied so closely together that I decided just to continue forward here and carry on with what I started so long ago. 

This excites me. 

You can read back into where I've been. That's a little scary. But you'll learn some things. I did when I read back over many entries today. I remembered good days and bad ones. And ones where I was filled with insight and wonder that I don't even remember.

I'm not a formally trained writer. So please expect the continuation of this journey to be raw and transparent (and full of misspelled words.) I am an artist. So also expect color and life.  I have goals for this endeavor. I hope to post more work, more plans, more lessons learned here. And I hope you find yourself walking with me, laughing with me, crying with me, and growing with me along the way. 

I am dreaming a little bigger these day. And this blog is a huge part of that. 

Dream with me. 

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:

Don't quit what you start.

 

Keys, please.

Have you ever been stuck in the position where you had to unlock something...a car, a door, a storage unit...something? Most people have. You dig out your keys and commence to unlock...If you are one of the lucky ones, you know exactly which key will fit the lock. No struggle, no fighting-just a clean easy fit. Sometimes though, it happens that we don't know which key to use...we have to test a few on the key chair to find the winner. And I have even been standing there before in this situation: I have tried all the keys, desperately attempting to fit all of them in the lock but none work...and then I try them all again and I find that one I thought didn't work was actually the right one all along, I just wasn't patient enough with it the on my first attempt with it.

C. S. Lewis made a beautiful analogy with a lock and a key in his broadcast of war-time talks about Christianity and our daily lives. This particular analogy was in reference to love and marriage. He pointed out that though a key and a lock are two different pieces, they are designed to work together as one mechanism...one collective item. Similarly, we as men and women are to do the same. Though we are two separate beings, we were designed by our creator to work together-jointly as one upon the unity of marriage.

Well, y'all know I'm not there yet. Not standing on the altar yet waiting to say "I do" but it is frequently on my mind. If not for the sheer volume of showers, bachelorette parties and weddings I have to attend, Perhaps because I am approaching the day when I too will actually be ready. So this idea of the lock and key has been on my mind an awful lot lately. I'm in that "trying to find the right fit" stage.

I can tell you right now that I was not blessed to be one of those who found the key that fit perfectly with no other attempts. I say that with no regrets. I have concluded that all these "attempts" if you want to call them that for lack of better term, have directed me closer to the right key.

I will say, though, that today, I am standing here with quite a predicament. I have tried all the keys. Maybe there is one hiding under the flower pot that I don't know about. Or maybe...just maybe...there is a key that I just wasn't quite patient enough with...the perfect key that I gave up on just a little too quickly. Ya know? At a certain point, if a key don't fit, you can't make it...but sometimes, it is possible to overlook that key's perfect fit...that no other key has...all because we are in a hurry to find the right one.

I haven't decided if I should look under the flower pot for a spare key. I really think the right key is there in front of me. Its just my fault that it hasn't worked in the lock yet. I wish I could tell you today how this ends...but I can't. I am just as confused as you are at this point in the story...I guess this will have to be concluded later.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
There is only one perfect key for every lock.

Change

The truth in that statement is almost frightening. And it has been twirling around inside my head a whole lot here lately.

See...

I'm not displeased in any way with where I am right now. But I know that I want more out of life.

Two things I want out of life:
1. Live Comfortably. I know too many people who face financial struggles often. I'd like to be in a position where that is not a constant worry in my life.
2. Have the means and opportunities to help others. I think that helping others is one of the best ways to demonstrate Christ's love to those who don't know of it.

I know that in order to be successful with #2, being successful with #1 would help a whole lot.

Now that I have settled myself to these ideas, I am currently trying to decide what is the best way to get where I want to be. Art will always be a part of me...and a part of the plan in some capacity. But perhaps not the main avenue that I travel as it has been for the past two years.

I dunno. We'll see. I'm setting goals. Looking at the big picture.

I'm making plans.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Don't learn the hard way...coming from someone who always does.

MMM....

I'm in a very pastel yellow mood these days. Butter Cream Yellow. It suits me.

I think that color has lots to offer. It is very flexible. It works with bold or pastel...color or neutral, ya know? My honey bun got me a mixer for Christmas...I opted for the yellow. I realize that it is not red...not "trendy or bold" and I take into account that it is not black or silver...no, not a neutral that will match anything. But I heart it. And every time I see that bright butter color outfitting my retro-ish mixer, I giggle a little. Because it is classic.

And y'all, Classic goes with anything.
Other important items that fall under that category: (because I am in a list making mood)

+A real set of pearls. Good golly. EVERY girl needs 'em. When in doubt, put on a pearl.

+Black Heels. Some shoes may spike question. A good pair of black heels never will. Dependable.

+Blue Willow Dishes. Been in my family for years. If you are truly southern, you have eaten off of blue willow dishes, at the very LEAST.

+McDonald's. Okay, okay. But seriously. When in doubt, McDonald's. They have been around the longest. That speaks to me.

Hope your week will be brightened by something that dons the sweet shade of light yellow :)

Today's Pearl of Wisdom: It doesn't have to match...it just needs to go.

I'm Procrastinating...

"You're so talented."

I hear that often. And I know it is always meant with good intent. As a compliment, if you will.

However, there are days when that phrase hits me like a jack hammer between my eyebrows.

Because being "talented" falls as both a blessing and a curse. It can bring sunshine to your life and plague it at the same time.

No rest for the weary...

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Be selective when exposing your talents.

Order.

Oh, well it has been a while hasn't it? A very long while with a very large amount of change. All for the best though. I am in hiding right now. I think that sometimes we have to be broken down in order to be built back up stronger. We must be primed and prepared, trained...before we are ready to take on the world. You know, kinda like in Batman...where he goes away and learns how to fight before he comes back to Gotham City to battle the bad guys? Well, I like to think of my life that way...perhaps a little extreme but very similar. I'll be back around, just when I am actually prepared to fight, if you will.

Part of my preparation can be summed up in the above quote...I think it really says it all. And it points out to me the things that I have completely missed. Being regular and orderly in my life is my new goal. Setting a schedule. Being punctual. Taking care of business when I say I will...all of those things, I want to do and be. I want to pursue my talents and put them out there in a better way...I think I have been doing myself an injustice by neglecting my abilities and whining way too much about not knowing what to do with myself. So today, on November 1, 2010, I am setting goals to help put myself out there more! Say a sweet prayer for me that I may be able to find more order and productivity in my life.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
See above quote...

Who do I want to be?

Who do I want to be?

Props to my friend Sarah for putting that question out there, as opposed to "what do I want to do?" or "what do I want to be?"
Who I am is much more important than what I am or what I do.
I'll share with you a little about who I would like to be in 13 years.

I want to be loud.

I want to be that woman who fearlessly walks into a room and cares nothing of what others perceive of her. I want to have great hair and an attractive disposition. I want to be dripping with southern-ness and I want my laugh to be such that everyone can hear it and wish that they knew what I know to make me laugh like that.

I want to be quirky.

I want to wear heels with my workout shorts if necessary. I want to always always think beyond the realm of acceptability or trend. I want to have window boxes with flowers in them at my house and I want to have a really really big dog. And I don't want vulchers hovering around to see what I'm going to do next or to try to ride my coattails or to try to one-up me. Geez. Just let me be me without having to worry about social and political pressures. Thanks.

I want to be a lover.

I want my friends to know that they are loved. I want my husband (should the Lord bless me as such) to know that he is loved. My family, my children, my clients....I want them all to know that the world is nothing without the special people that fill it. I want to always make time for my girls. I want them to always know that whether they need a margarita or a special prayer, I will be over in lightning fast speeds to take care of them and I know that they would always do the same.

I want to be well-respected.

I am still working on this one. There are areas where I know I struggle. Procrastination started out as a little joke with me and has snowballed itself into a major disease. I am daily trying to improve this and other areas of my life so that when I look back, I can say that despite my mistakes, I did alright.

I want to be happy.

Happy is the feeling you have when you lie down after a long day next to someone you love all covered up in a down comforter. Happy is the feeling you have when you tie the perfect bow on the perfect gift sitting in front of the perfect Christmas tree drinking the best cup of coffee in the world while watching Miracle on 34th street with your sister and your mom.
Happy is looking in the mirror and knowing that you have worked really hard to drop a few pounds and your jeans are just a little bit looser than before. Happy is getting a sunburn while being completely lazy on the lake. Happy is going to work everyday and knowing you will have a paycheck to buy groceries and pay rent.

I would have defined happy in a much different way 6 years ago.

So who do I want to be? I want to be the colorful, loud, boistrous, fearless girl who loves and gives...who has a strong man standing behind her and all of her girls standing beside her....who is happy.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
Be who you are, not what you do.